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Saturday, October 04, 2008
Stronger
On thurs, i carried my damaged laptop into the IT department with a smile on my face. The IT person actually ask me not to smile. I know i would have to pay for the laptop but the damage has already been done so u want me to cry and bring the laptop to u? Actually, i am quite surprised by myself too. I didnt cry or feel like crying when the person told me most prob i have to pay for the laptop. If it was one yr ago, i am sure i would burst out crying. Can i say i have grown stronger? But i also realise recently when i feel very sad and feel like crying, no tears managed to get out of my eyes, they would just flow down thru my heart. Better EQ? I wonder this is good or bad. When i realise the crack in my laptop screen, somehow it give me assurance that my decision to leave is correct. Somehow, i feel that it symbolised an end and the time for a fresh beginning. I am announcing to more and more people that i am leaving cos i dun want to give them a shock when i really leave and also to enable them to find replacement in time. Some friends think i should leave, some know but nvr say anything and some keep asking me to stay. I am touched by May jin who encourage my decision even thou my departure means greater workload for her. Another one is my buddy, Gilbert who says he will support whatever decision that i make. But i am also disappointed in some people who give the response of " You go already, who take over yr shit?" I dun consider this kind of people my friend at all, cant wait to get them out of my sight and i hope you do get part of my shit (opps, so evil). Only steh ask me to stay genuinely bcos she say she think i will do well in this line. Actually, i think i still like audit but i am not happy in the environment i am in now. And happiness matters to me the most now cos life is short. I dun want to be in the "chasing for money" race which my mgr is in now. So what if she earn alot? I can see that she is not happy too and i dun want to follow her footsteps. I hope i can still be in contact with my 9 other princesses after i leave. Hope they will miss me cos i will surely miss them alot!
12:14 AM